One month down, too many left

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Urgh! I've had a complete disaster of a month. Disaster, I tell you. Since I'm going to a BIG family birthday / reunion / meeting new people type thing this month I needed something to wear. J said it would be good for me, that shopping is recreational etc etc, and I was getting all excited while we walked from the parking lot, past the canal and towards the store. Jolly good, I thought, finally something that doesn't make me break out in cold sweat.

Hah.

First off, it's not recreational when you are fat. Or when you feel even fatter than you look (or the other way around, which is probably worse). And especially not when you finally find something worth wearing, IN YOUR SIZE, and then realize it's because you're in the maternity section. By that point J was getting whiny (so much for relaxation and recreation) and I was about to burst into tears (I'm getting fat again!).

BUT, I did walk away with 1 pair of pants, 4 tops and a handbag. I don't know why, but lately I've had a thing for handbags, and this one is cute, has many pockets (essential) and some leather and chains S/M looking thing strapped across it (gutsy). I hope I didn't over-do it.

It's times like this I'm so fucking grateful that I spent 300€ on myself last Christmas, without batting an eye. Ok, so I'm lying, I often feel guilty about spending on myself so shamelessly, but I didn't budge this time, mostly thanks to J who is such a giver. I think that man would give me the world if he could - but then I'd feel so guilty I'd ruin the romance.. Anyway, yes, my Creative Zen Touch will be much appreciated on my flights. Traveling makes me nervous, but everything is so much easier if you feel like you're in a music video.

There is so much more to tell, since I haven't had much time to sit here - connection, server and clients in dire need of help (my help! EEK!) don't leave much time over for anything else. It's hard on me being my "own boss" since all things that go wrong land on me without question, and I'm prone to be very hard on the one who screws up on my shift, ie. me.

Thank god August is over and won't be back for another year. Unless, of course, something unexpected happens. Like it usually does for me.

Yeah, I'm cranky.