Random
Down, down, down it goes
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
This makes me very sad to look at, but at least I have a ton of crap to prove I was there, before it all went down.
Just to celebrate the shitty economy I insisted that Jelly Man buy me a proper winter jacket. Last year I bought a nice wind/cold resistant thing, only I’m so fat that I had to buy it in a man’s size, one size bigger than the one Jelly Man bought for himself. I am not tall, I am just fat, so you can imagine where my arms went. All in all it was a horrible experience. This year I wanted a real jacket and so Jelly Man drove us to the store and stuck some cash in my fist and told me to go nuts.
I know the economy is crap and that maybe saving is a good idea, like, ya think? But I was determined to buy something I can actually wear without feeling like I shrunk several sizes while still not being able to zip that fucker up in a comfortable manner. I nearly passed my absolute dream jacket because it didn’t quite amaze me on the rack, but you guys, I LOVE MY NEW JACKET! And it cost me a fortune! And I only feel marginally bad about that, because DUDE I CAN ZIP IT UP, I CAN ZIP IT UP GOOD!
It’s both a blessing and a curse that we don’t have a proper full length mirror in the house, I spend enough time doing unproductive shit as it is and standing in front of a mirror taking pictures of myself would be a little rich even for me. Just trust me when I say that the jacket and this cute little sweater I found to go with it were made for me, and so I bought them to the tune of more than I ever wanted to spend on a winter jacket. And now I feel guilty, so I think I better go scrub something…
Oh, and I cut Carlita’s hair. If you squint just right you can almost not tell at all. Now she no longer dons layers, which were remnants from her mullet period. Now it’s pretty even all around and slightly longer than to her shoulders, except her bangs which are right in her eyes because I don’t want to trim them again. Oh, my little bebeh.. I have already put a lock in one of her picture frames.
Am waiting for first week of November with great anticipation. Are we, or are we not?
Give me some of what you’ve got
Friday, August 29, 2008
I found these over here, and while I haven't actually watched any Olympic games this year, much less on American TV, I still found these hilarious.
Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators so far during the Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
- Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
- Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
- Paul Hamm, gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
- Boxing analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
- Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
- Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
- At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
- Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
- Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'
My rock throwing skillz, let me show you it.
Happy weekend!
All kinds of crazy
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Me: So, what do you think?
Him: I think you’re getting too bored, too often. (followed by mad cackling)
We got a call from USAGC, which is the USA green card lottery people. I filled in the application in order to enter another, unrelated lottery and promptly forgot about it. Honestly, I feel a little dirty. The woman who called me up had an intelligible but heavy accent, and while she was rambling up all the countries that were not eligible in this lottery (oh, we are fortunate to be born in the land of Danes and Funland, respectively, for sure) I couldn’t help think how she might just be working at a callcenter in any of those countries herself.
I felt slightly dirty telling her I’m a housewife. And more so when she told me it was OK because I am married to someone who does have a job.
And by the way, we have twice as much chance to win because we’re married. And Carlita would of course get a green card too.
It feels all kinds of wrong to be eligible just because of where we were born. I don’t speak for all Funns, but I’m sure they’d be able to find a million other people that are more deserving than the two of us - and I wanted to tell her; Lady, you do not want us. Trust me.
I told her I needed to discuss it with my husband, because she wanted us to pony up money. I devilishly lied and told her Jelly Man was working while he is, in fact, on his third week of a month long vacation - spending much of his time farting and playing poker - and felt utterly disgusted with myself.
* * *
In other news, I got my period. That is all kinds of relief and only slightly melancholic.
* * *
He behaved like a gentle giant, but he was the smallest of us all. He died, and I already forget when, but his grave is neatly tucked between two berry bushes - something I’m sure he would approve of, had he only known - and it rained later that night, how fitting. I couldn’t help thinking that the roses bloomed so hard and fiercely this year just for him. His little box was padded with rose petals and stemless roses. We’re pretty sure he passed away in his sleep, and thinking back we do remember him being a bit on the tired side as of late.
Every now and then it hits me hard, but he had a pretty good life. And a long one, six whole years.
R.I.P. Twin, the boarest of boars.
Home alone
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Jelly Man is off to Latvia tonight, and after we make sure Carlita and I have everything we could possibly need from the grocery store (enough stuff to survive for a couple of months, in case he gets lost) I’m going to wave bye bye to him at the door, then come in here and turn the computer off. It’s a little experiment I’m doing, just for the sake of checking if I’m able to. Cause I don’t think I can, and that would confirm my suspicion that I am terribly addicted to the internet, and that would be a very bad thing.
I know, me addicted to the internet, crazy!
There is lots to do around the house anyway, and plus, I want to try and make this extra special bonding time between Carlita and I. This is going to be the first time I spend this much time with her alone - and I’m not going to lie, it scares the shit out of me. But I think I can rise to the challenge nevertheless. I might even take her for a walk up the forest road, we haven’t been there since she was still in her stroller. And bubbles, there will be lots of soap bubbles! And time spent outside, especially if it’s not hailing like yesterday.
So, yes, I might cave in one evening, but otherwise I don’t think I will get back to posting until Monday’ish. But, because I promised, I will get a picture of the new car and upload to flickr later today - it turns out it was a very real car indeed. And it’s spacy! And I don’t hate it! Give it a year or two and I might have an opportunity to, but for now all seems a-OK. It even gets a little gold star for having tinted windows in the back. No more need for those damn Winnie the Pooh screens whose suction cups detach from the window every other week.
Unfortunately, the car is also still very white. It’ll take me a while to stomach that, I think, but I got used to the green Lada - I should be able to overlook this minor detail given some time. Funny thing is, I might not have had as bad a reaction to a rust colored car as I did this white one, but I’m quirky like that. All in all I’m glad Jelly Man isn’t a car nut. We have a small child, and we are maybe possibly planning a second tot, so how long would a new car stay new anyway? This car will last us a couple of years, hopefully, and once we don’t have toddlers in the car, and we can afford to, a brand new car might be fun to splurge on. Now, not so much.
So, it comes as no surprise that I’m utterly disgusted with S. and his Latest Greatest Thing In The World, another high cost gadget that will fail to make him happy, just like all the other expensive gadgets he has bought the past couple of years have failed to make him even a little bit happier. You’ve got to wonder how long someone can keep up that kind of consumerism/therapy without once turning to themselves and ask if all these materialistic possessions actually help them feel more whole, or if it just leaves a hole in their pocket.
And why do certain people make their own family their enemy? What is the point marrying someone if you then spend a lot of energy on getting the hell out of the house?
Ach, you know, no ordinary people would - but then I’m not talking about your average joe, I’m talking about S.
And now I’m off to put some more laundry in the machine. If I keep this up I might demolish the heap this weekend! (Yeah, riiight..)
