Formality of forever

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

This is the woman who married us today. She looked awfully formal - so totally unlike me.

Living happily ever after, thank you very much!

Hell, without wheels

Friday, May 16, 2008

I think that my being in Europe officially keeps me out of the Wii competition over at Three Kid Circus, but I’ve actually got a (short) story, so I might as well share it, right?

I was probably 19 or 20 when I landed a really neat job. I was to be the danish customer service for an online music/movie store. The job was pretty straight forward, but still a lot of responsibility. It also happened to be 2 hours commute each way, so to say that I was tired the 6 months that I worked there would probably be an understatement.

I also managed to get my then boyfriend a job at the same company, so most days we would work at the same six people table. We were a little group of customer service and part time staffers in a big office - as hard as life was during that time, it was also a lot of fun - and a lot of stress. ( a LOT!)

Some time before I started the new job I had bought an Orbitrek. I was tired of being tired all the time, I was tired of being fat and most of all, I think, I was tired of being depressed. The Orbitrek came in and did exactly what any other exercise equipment have done before and after the Orbitrek - which is to say, not a whole lot.

I guess, to say that I didn’t do the Orbitrek a whole lot would be more accurate, actually.

Because there were a couple of us new people at work, meetings were had to get us up to date on the company - I remember one meeting my supervisor made fun of all the junk customers of the mother company were buying - specifically, she was making fun of the Orbitrek.

I could feel myself turning beetroot red, sinking ever so low into my chair. Did she.. know? I decided that the best course of action would be to play along and hope to god that no one ever felt like looking up my name, because right there next to it would be a note that says THIS PERSON, HAHA, SHE ACTUALLY HAS AN, AND GET THIS, HAHA.. AN.. AN.. HAHAHA.. AN ORBITREK!

To this day I still don’t know whether anyone knew or not, and to be quite frank, I would be so much happier never knowing.

So there, there you have it. It doesn’t quite have the iGallop beat, but it was still awkward aplenty.

No uncertain terms

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Today was another roller coaster of fever and misery, joyful squeals for a change of pace and then back to the misery again, wee! I managed to fall asleep with Carlita at bedtime, and am now wide awake at 3am. Carlita and Jelly Man were taking up too much space, Carlita’s little hot body always gravitating toward me in the night, I had to get up and do something.

Yes, Jelly Man is finally back in our bed, and I love it, despite it being crammed. I miss sleeping next to him, but merely having him in the same room, let alone the same bed is making me woozy with giddy happiness. I know the sleeping apart arrangement had it’s function and was crucial for everyone’s sanity, but I am glad we’re past that now.

Sitting up, alone in the dark, there is a lot that I am happy we are past.

We weren’t always happy, together or apart. I think around one and a half year into our relationship we were close to not making it, miserable, but desperately hanging on. Jelly Man was on anti-depressants that did little to no good, and as with most of my past, this period of time is very hazy. I’m amazed we survived, amazed that we came out the other end as a stronger couple, and instead of going in the other direction we actually became closer.

I remember S.’s wife once asked me, before she was his wife, in the beginning of their relationship when they had just moved in together, both virgins and full of innocence (I think. At least on her part) - I don’t think she was more than 18 years old at the time - if I thought they’d last, her and S., and the horror I felt when I realized that I couldn’t tell a lie straight to her face.

I thought back at myself at 18, one year into my first relationship, which never was a very happy one at that. I thought about how much I had changed between 17 and 22, changed something fierce. The mere thought at being stuck with my ex forever forced me to tell her that I sure hoped not. That there was a lot to experience, that you don’t know what you want until you know for sure what you don’t.

It might not have been a very nice thing to say. I knew what she wanted to hear, and I could have just told her that, wow, she and S. were SO good together, of course they’d never break up. But I couldn’t. I can’t remember what exactly I told her, and I don’t know how much of it she got because her English is so-so (but better than my Finnish, I admit), whatever it was, though, I think it stuck with her. Sometimes I get the feeling she’s sticking with him out of spite.

Of course, it could also have something to do with three little boys, too, but what do I know?

It shouldn’t surprise me though. S. told Jelly Man once that he wanted a stupid, but sexy girlfriend. I say, be careful what you wish for. Not long after S. and his wife hooked up, they moved into an apartment together, and *badaboom* she got pregnant. I remember telling S. not to worry, that we were all getting old anyway, he wasn’t missing much - lying through my teeth this time, because this time there was a lot more on the line than the broken heart of a 18 year old.

When I got pregnant, S. and his wife already had two children, which meant that S. was the ultimate authority on all things BABIES, and PARENTING, even though the one time I saw him hold his three month old I nearly got nauseous because it looked like he was going to bounce the head off the little guy, who was struggling to stay steady. Coming from me that says a lot - I don’t handle Carlita like she’s made of glass, and never have, but the way he was handling his son made us both queasy that day.

He wanted to offer up his assvice to Jelly Man, whether Jelly Man wanted it or not. Did he have any hateful feelings toward me?, S. would ask when they were alone, the conversation relayed to me by a frustrated Jelly Man who felt his friend knew absolutely nothing about him, because that is a normal reaction, S. assured.

No, asshole, Jelly Man never felt a shred of hatred toward me for being pregnant - oh my god! And no, it’s not normal to hate your spouse. Seriously. Jelly Man took a few jabs, then told S. to mind his own parenting, standing a ground that I don’t think S. is familiar with - be loyal and be true to your family, because it really is all we’ve got.

This summer will mark my 7th year here in Funland, and Carlita’s 2nd birthday. The hardship days are over, we know what we are made of - and the sex just keeps getting better (I’m still in need of a paddle, I’m not even kidding..)

And I feel lucky, because I know that not everyone can say that. To know what we’re made of, to know that it’s what we want, to know that we like each other’s company so much that we want to spend all our free time just the three of us - such fortune!

I don’t think we ever made the wish, but it was granted nonetheless.

So be careful what you wish for.

Someone might hear you.

And it might be granted.

Stuff I’m sure you’re dying to know - or maybe not

Monday, April 21, 2008

Curse on you, sun.

*gasp*

Yes, I said it. All winter I’ve been longing for sunlight, hitting my face, my arms and legs, a faint breeze chasing away beads of sweat. And right now, at 10:45 in the morning it’s not a problem. In fact, it doesn’t start being a problem until 7-8 in the evening when Carlita is supposed to get sleepy and go nighty-night.

On Saturday it was a big problem as she didn’t hit the sack until 11.30 - and slept until noon Sunday. Seriously - did she skip one and a half decades? Am I dealing with a teenager here? Should I be on the lookout for boys trying to get her to run away with them in the middle of the night? Can I please have my toddler back, thankyouverymuch!

Anyway, man, dude.. Dude, man.. Am feeling utterly pooped today, to be honest. I was hoping I’d be up for some gardening today, seeing as, yes THERE IS SUN! (Curse you, except, not!) Jelly Man thought I’d better wait until there has been some rain, maybe I should listen to him. He is, after all, the one who nearly went to gardening school, not me.

Oh yes, and that reminds me of a stupid fight I had with mum (work related, want versus need, oh boy!) - but that will have to wait. I don’t want to dwell on it, so I’m thinking happy thoughts, and those happy thoughts are mostly about POWERTOOLS (I could say I fantasize about sex when I want happier thoughts, but sex is a non-issue, as in, I get as much as I need and I always ALWAYS get what I want, so there is little left to fantasize about - but, POWERTOOLS ZOMFG YES! Happy thoughts, here I come..)

* * *

Oh, and also, we’re so out of toilet paper it’s not even funny. It’s made even unfunnier by the fact that I seem to be suffering from selective IBS. Traveling or having guests always messes with my bowel, but instead of getting constipated, like normal travelers, I go to the other end of the scale and can’t keep anything in. I didn’t even know you could evacuate a meal about an hour after eating it, but my stomach has been giving it a go for the past week or so.

Great times, oh boy!