Parenting
Proper exiting techniques
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
There was a time when I thought that this whole having-a-child-and-raising-it just wasn’t for me, or maybe more specifically wasn’t for me/us because of our situation. We talked about kids in a joking way, like how weird/amazing/absurd an offspring of ours would be, what kind of over-the-top odd parents we’d be, you know, if we ever had kids, which we weren’t going to have, but it was fun talking about it anyway.
And then I got pregnant (years later, this still comes as a shock to me - on a near daily basis - I believe recovery will be life-long.) It’s really odd, looking back on the time just after I got pregnant, but before I knew. There were forewarnings, forebodings. I went to Scotland for a week alone, and while I was there I found a bruise on my inner thigh. I remember my mum once telling me that that was one of the signs she had when she got pregnant with me, so I joked about how I might be pregnant, and while getting wasted I confused B.O. with O.B. in a conversation - a very wasted conversation. Fun times! I knew I was going to get my period in the last couple of days of my trip and warned my hosts about the GOD AWFUL period cramps that I get, how they’d better have some painkillers for me or I’d SURELY DIE! IN THEIR HOME! AND THEY’D BE RESPONSIBLE!
Instead, there was no blood, no cramps, but plenty of sore boobs - which is usual for me during PMS, but this was just ridiculous and over the top soreness.
I went back home, having had a great time (having a hoot, actually), but glad to be going home because, man, I missed Jelly Man to death during the entirety of the visit. I knew I would, so I brought one of Jelly Man’s worn t-shirts with me on the trip, just so I could smell him while curling up alone at night, and I think I sobbed into it once or twice because I ached for him, especially at night.
Anyway, a little less than a month ago Jelly Man and I got to go out on a date, alone, for the first time since Carlita was born. I did manage to call three or so times to check up on her, because I’m her mother and that is what mothers do, but I didn’t miss her too much - because honestly, I get to spend all day with her, sometimes all night too, so it’s not like I was deprived.
What I am deprived of, besides sleep, is Jelly Man.
It’s been suggested to me, now with the upcoming trip to Stockholm, that I might leave Jelly Man and Carlita at home and come on my own. A sweet suggestion made with good intentions, I’m sure - to give me a break and some childless fun, and for the childless people to also have childless fun - a reward, no doubt, for being responsible enough not to have any kids of their own yet. And I thought about it, for probably 0.0001% of a second. But.. My days of going somewhere without Jelly Man are over. I just can’t do it anymore.
I daydream about Carlita spending summer vacations with grandma and great grandma, remembering the summers I got to spend with my own grandma (by the sea, no less, and with numerous trips to the library where I found these books and spent the rest of the summer chanting and brooding by the shore), wanting the same for Carlita because my summers as a kid were nothing short of magical - I want her to experience all that too. But if it was once difficult spending time away from Jelly Man, it now seems impossible. I don’t need a break from Jelly Man - he doesn’t need a break from me. If anything, we need each other now more than ever.
Maybe when Carlita is a little older and less dependent, if parenthood ever gets any easier I might, just might, consider going on holidays alone again. But for now, where Willow Jelly Man goes, so goes my nation.
Of diapers and poo
Thursday, January 10, 2008
So, here’s the deal.
Halfway through my pregnancy I was almost set on using cloth. I’m not a hero in any sense of the word, and trying to save the environment wasn’t my agenda, but it was certainly a perk of using cloth, debatable as it is. No, there is something about cloth diapers that just makes me want to get a perm, adorn an apron and bake cookies all day long, I guess deep down inside I knew my transition into motherhood was going to be hard, and I needed every boost I could get.
We started out with Kissaluvs size 0 (for the handy bellybutton snap-down) and covers. I must have been out of my mind, because, HELLO! We didn’t have a dryer back then (in fact, we didn’t have a dryer until just a month and a half ago!) and the poor Kissaluvs came off the line like little stiff pelts.. Since Carlita was going to outgrow them soon, anyway, I had to figure something new out. So, someone recommended I try out Bumgenius One Size (fits nearly all).
I’m not known for my patience and sitting down with a cup of tea while carefully circling my options, making pro and con lists until I’ve got it all figured out. I heard about the Bumgenius, I wanted the Bumgenius, damnit! So, we got the Bumgenius - 30 of. I was, after all, the one who had to deal with them, plus Carlita was not going to stunt her growth just for us and our diaper dilemma. I think they arrived sometime when she was almost 3 months old. We skipped the first top row of buttons and went straight to a size “medium”, but it only took her two months to totally outgrow them due to her unbelievably fat thighs/butt, when she had a growth spurt at 5 months. I mean, she was pear-shaped beyond all belief. (It’s not going to help trying to explain it - those thighs and that butt had to be seen to be believed.)
So, I packed up the Bumgenius, thinking that the day would come when a) she could fit into them again, or b) we had another child who might not be as pear-shaped. I know, the chances for that are staggeringly low, as both Jelly Man and I have wide hips and big butts. But, the day has come - Carlita DO fit into them again, and now I’m toying with the idea of using them on her during the day, with a ‘sposie at night just to make sure she doesn’t leak and get cold and uncomfortable.
I had a test run with a diaper the other day, because we had run out of ‘sposies, and we were in quite a tight spot - so I said “Fuck it, lets use them! We even have a dryer now, so why the hell not?”. I’ll tell you why not - because your dear child will end up with a chemical burn on their private parts, that’s why. I’m not sure why, because my washing routine that I used when she was wearing the BG diapers seemed to work then, and she never had rashes with them. Maybe it’s just that there is so much more urine now that whatever buildup I had in the dipes back then, and which didn’t cause such a volatile reaction with a small amount of urine, is just more prone to turn into ammonia now. But, you know, at least they finally FIT…
So, these past two days have been spent washing diapers. Washing and washing and washing, washing until I think they’re clean, then drop them in the dryer, just to pull out something that smells not totally unlike nasty hamster cage, aaaaand back to the washer they go. I’ve used vinegar, I’ve used baking soda, I’ve used plain hot water - more so than anything, and I think they might finally be ready. I still don’t know what our washing routine will be, between the vinegar and the baking soda and the plain hot water it’s pretty much anyone’s guess what actually works. But we’re ready to try..! AND we’ve got sposies handy, just in case my beloved BG’s don’t work out.
So.. Wish me luck, eh? And I’ll keep you posted.
Yes/no, yes/no?
Monday, January 07, 2008
Should I put Carlita back in the cloth diapers she outgrew at 5 months, or should I stick with disposables? Cos we can out of disposables and I discovered that she now fits back into the cloths.
Man, oh man.. What a tough decision. You get a little extra wear-time out of disposables, but I love, Love, LOVE the cloth diapers - maybe even enough to put up with the washing (for which we now have new machines! Another plus in the pro column of cloth!)
I would just have to figure out the perfect washing routine since the cloth diapers, as they are now, tend to create ammonia, which could easily be fixed if I just knew how much detergent/baking soda I need to use.
Oy vey. Am I just setting myself up for a lot of work and disappointment, or would this be the perfect family centered activity that I’ve been thinking I need as of late?
Dude… DUDE!! I can’t decide…
Interrupting internet silence to announce that..
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
..My baby, my precious little baby - she who took 23 long hours to get into this world - is almost completely weaned*, and not only that, but she now.. and brace yourselves for this, cause it blew my mind.. PUTS ON HER BOOTS ALL ON HER OWN!!!
*She is experiencing major abstinence by now though. I thought we’d be able to taper it off slowly, but the kid is so dependent on the boob that it was like pulling the band-aid off s l o o o o o o w l y, and it just seemed cruel to keep that up. Plus we were both getting really frustrated and my boobs were getting sore. Of course, I’m already missing it, but she appears to be getting more cuddly now that she doesn’t get access to the milk-bar. I can so totally live with that.
(Miss A., your goddaughter is putting on boots!!!! All by her self!!!!!!!! Just.. maybe wait at least 10 years before you buy her thigh-high stilettos, OK? Heh!)
