It is official

Sunday, June 29, 2008

I have had my Paypal account since 2004, and yesterday they notified me that my account is under review because I have, to date, received 1000€, and they want to make sure I’m not laundering money. Wow. 1000€ in four years make 250€ a year! I am so totally cashing in! If only someone would have bothered to let me know I’m rolling in dough, because somehow it has escaped me. (Except not really - I might not be the most sanitary of people, I know that, but I can’t stand the smell of money. That dank smell of people’s past greasy meals and toilet visits give me the shivers in the worst possible way ever. If I’d been rolling in money, I would know just from the smell.)

Also, they are not TAKING my possibly laundered money, at least there is that. I can even withdraw funds while my review is underway. I guess that means I can put a roll on that 80€ I have in there and spend it all before they realize they are dealing with a columbian drug lord and take away my fortune.

Jelly Man’s vacation doesn’t actually start until tomorrow, but he skipped Friday and so we’ve been dilly dallying around for the past weekend. Yesterday was kind of boring, so we were channel surfing like gnats on a sugar high. Sometimes Funland has a gem up its sleeve, and sometimes it even takes it out and twirls it between its fingers for all of us to see and hem and haw at. Yesterday we came across an accordion competition while manically switching between channels.

My grandpa was an accordion player. It’s just about the only thing I remember about him. The accordion and his black beard. And that one time where he pressed my cheeks while my mouth was full of juice, and so successfully turning me into a juice fountain.

We watched some accordion competition there for a while. Did you know that a great big chunk of today’s accordion players are hunky early-twenty-somethings? With glorious tanned complexions, except for that Russian guy who looked slightly vitamin deficient and that other dude who looked like Bono, and you could totally imagining them picking up a sax and tearing it up - except they did! With an accordion! Tore the place right up, they did!

And you could tell, you could no more take two musicians and make them switch accordions any more than you could tell them to detach their legs and switch with each other. Each accordion was its own masterpiece, big, small, glittery, classy and just slightly over the top, an extension of its owner. And in typical musician fashion they all looked constipated and twitchy while they were jamming it up. So, there you had a handful and a half of, mostly, hunky young men doing their thing with an accordion strapped to their front. Accordions approximately the size of a really healthy infant..

Oh.. Right!

NOW I GET IT!

So, yes, I have the dreaded baby fever.

Will approve of sibling for X amount of ice cream.

Blup

Monday, November 19, 2007

I’m having cramps so bad I think I might be having another phantom baby, skipping 9 months of uncomfortable state of pregnancy, straight into labor.

But, on a lighter note, I got a Villainess package today! w00t!!

6 Whipped! 2 Smooch! and a mud. Review as soon as I whip* my uterus into submission with ibuprofen and lots and lots of chinese food (I don’t know if it will help, but it is worth a try. Well worth a try. In fact, even if I knew it didn’t work, I’d still eat a lot of chinese. Hell, even if it made it worse, at this point, yes, I would eat chinese. And I will. Soon! As soon as Jelly Man comes home.)

*Although obviously not with Whipped! Obviously!

The dark side of X-mas

Sunday, December 11, 2005

I’ve bought one single gift this year. It’s for my “bonus sister” (as they so lovingly call it in Denmark) - shampoo, conditioner and toothpaste in Moomin fashion. My “bonus brother” will be getting hosting - so no need to buy that (woohoo, self-sufficiency!).

Other than that, christmas, in it’s traditional form, is not on my agenda. If I could have it my way we’d probably spend the next three weeks out of our minds. I’ve never done cocaine, but somehow it feels like now would be a good time to try.

Also, my dearly belated PERIOD could bloody well show up soon. Bloody well I say.

BLARGH!

// EDITED //
This is the first post that mentions my late period. Woo!

Twilight zone explained

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Yes indeed. Apparently, Saturday was some sort of memorial day. I’ll never know why the dead would care about the living going to the store and buying food, you know so they can LIVE, on this day that apparently is for the dead - but I DO know that a lot of living people don’t mind taking a day off work just for the hell of it.

I’ve been on a kinda sorta sugar free diet lately. I’ve also had PMS from hell, even though it’s not that time of the month yet. I didn’t realize the two were connected before J pointed it out to me that I’ve been really hissy lately and he thought it might be because I wasn’t getting sugar. OF COURSE. Duh! It takes so very little for me to get propelled out of whatever state that is normal for me.

Actually, come to think of it, being PMSy is sort’ve my natural state. Evil evil sugar! (How I love thee)

There are 3 days till my 25th birthday. I AM NOT HAPPY! Birthdays quit being fun after turning 21. Seriously. I’ve found greys, people. GREY HAIRS! It should not be allowed, not until I turn 30 - at least! Should I dye it? That sucks too - I can’t really make it look much different. Black with a hint of red, or black with a hint of violet OR black with a hint of blue - wooo! Or I could bleach it so it’ll turn orange! I just love my options� NOT.

9 days after my birthday I’m going to Scotland. THAT makes G a happy girl. I was thinking of a few things to bring to my hostess, like “look at what Funland has to offer”, but I can’t come up with one single thing that we can buy here that cannot be bought in UK. THEY HAVE EVERYTHING, those bastards! I�m so envious. So, I’m going to have to think a little harder on this.

What would YOU want from Funland? And don’t say elk poop made into earrings (cause that could totally be arranged, and I’d hate myself for it!)