23 Months Old

Monday, June 30, 2008

I feel like I’m having to struggle to recall anything remarkable about you, or us as a family lately - but I think it’s because it has all been remarkable, and all of it worth remembering. The purpose of all these letters to you have been to document your early life, from me being pregnant, to giving birth, to raising you. I wanted to document your transition from newborn to baby to toddler to child. Sitting here now, I feel like I have failed utterly because it was just yesterday that I was fretting about you taking forever to roll from your stomach to your back, or from your back to your stomach (you should know, your mother is not all that picky), and now I’m having the same internal dialogue, and slight worries, about your speech.

Somewhere along the way I went to sleep next to a baby and woke up next to a child, and it’s confusing. I don’t know how to feel about that. I miss my baby, and yet it’s all consuming and exciting to see the person you are becoming. But one thing I know for sure is; You make me a better person, merely by being in my life. Right now your dad is reading The very hungry caterpillar out loud to you, and if you’d known your dad as long as I have, you’d know as well as I do that that is proof you make him a better person, too.

One thing that is becoming more and more apparent is that you like rules. We are a pretty lax household, but I do set limits, and to my surprise you tend to follow our rules pretty well. For example, you can now open the front door if it is not locked - you have actually been able to do this for a couple of months now - but you don’t. You don’t just wander away on your own. Except if I help you get your shoes on, then all bets are off, cause shoes means we are going out, right?

You are also good with utensils. You have been able to feed yourself with a spoon since you were 1, and you seem to be very serious about the usage of forks and spoons with your meals. If I sat you down to eat soup with a fork or gave you a steak and a spoon, you’d probably look at it for a while and go ‘OK, so lets figure out how to do this..’ And since we are on the topic of food, I might as well tell you that you haven’t inherited your dad’s love of my cooking, and that anything out of a jar is better than any of my blood-sweat-and-tears three course dinners any day. Can you please explain this to me, little lady?

Also, your hair is getting longer. You still sport somewhat of a mullet, but ponytails and pigtails are now a possibility, and I take full advantage of that. You don’t seem to mind my combing your hair and pulling it this way and that, as long as you get to watch some tv at the same time.

And lastly, your sleeping habits are pretty awesome by now. You are down to one nap in the afternoon, but it’s short. You still need it, though, and I’d be slightly panicky if you decide to drop that too. Night time is what is really amazing, and it took around six months to get to this point, but we now have a routine where we all spend some time on the bed (or if your dad is working late, you and I do it alone) and shoot the breeze for a while. Read a few books (except not - you are too impatient to sit through a story - around page 3 you pull the book out of our hands and start leafing through it yourself) and then we shower you with kisses, tell you we love you just about a million times and then we leave you to fall asleep on your own. For months I’d have to go fetch you from the guinea pig’s room and put you back in bed many times each night, but now you stay put. You even put the lights out yourself when you are ready to sleep, which, wow…

Carlita, there are hardly words for what I want to say to you. How do I describe what I feel when you put my face between your hands and pull me close to your face so I can give you a kiss? How do I explain what it’s like to feel your little arms being shoved in under my body in the middle of the night when you want a little closeness? Love is just a little four letter word, but you, you are so much more to us than that. You are our love personified and there are no words in this world that could do you justice.