One

Saturday, November 01, 2008

If I were to count all the money I’ve used in the span of the past week I would probably lose the remainder of my hair, and that would be awful because then we’d have to spend extra on a wig. Actually, it wouldn’t surprise me if I one day end up in a wig. The women in Jelly Man’s family have been known for their false teeth and hair (there are few occasions where I am happy that Jelly Man was adopted and this is one of them - hopefully Carlita won’t have to deal with chemo), and since I’m already partially hairless I can see myself reaching that milestone sometime in my 40s.

I spent a small fortune on a Diaperdude bag for myself, and I am calling it a birthday present. I know, I know! You thought I already HAD a Diaperdude bag, didn’t you? Well, I did. Until I decided I needed a new one and the only way to get a new one would be to somehow distance myself from the first one. And how do you do that? You rip off the Diaperdude tag, pull out all baby related items (not a whole lot, we hardly go anywhere as it is) and insist to your significant other that they would LOVE THIS BAG! JUST LOOK AT ALL THOSE POCKETS! OOOH, AND IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOU! He likes it, but hardly uses it. Just like me! The new bag, however, will be a whole different enchilada! (Obviously! It’s gorgeous, just look at it! And I managed to haggle the price down by pulling the repeat-customer card. (Yay! I love Reeces Pieces!))

I also spent a fortune on Amazon, buying a slew of books for Carlita, and looking for The Lion King on DVD and wondering why the fuck it costs a chilling £35. Was it really THAT good? Who the hell decides what to charge for items? Is there any real value left in anything anymore? No wonder the economy is in the shitter! I blame The Lion King.

Then I spent a chunk of money on Jelly Man’s Christmas presents - some on something super secret (read: naughty!) and some on this little beauty. On that note, I got one of these too, but I’m still undecided on whether to keep it or give it to my mum for Christmas.* And I’m looking into ordering all seasons of Soprano’s for his birthday.

*The fact that I already have two notebooks from modofly, one large and one small, blank and ruled respectively, is hardly going to affect my decision. Thank GOD!

I paid for my flickr account, renewed my Expression Engine license, bought decanting supplies (for perfume) and if I forgot anything I think I’m going to cry because we’re out of money for a week or two to come. Thank goodness Carlita’s birthday is in the summer because my birthday, Christmas and Jelly Man’s birthday all happen within 3 months of each other.

November - I am psyched! BRING IT ON!

27 Months Old

Friday, October 31, 2008

Dear Carlita,

I knew early on that there was a whole lot more going on inside that noggin of yours than you let on. That little Buddha smile might have fooled us for a little while, but it didn’t take us long to realize that whatever was going on around you, you never missed a beat, your eyes always scanning the room looking for the source of whatever caught your attention. You were a calm baby, yet firm. You put up with a lot and in return you had a few demands that had to be carried out.

I knew early on that this old-soul behavior was just the calm before the storm. My dear, you have not disappointed me. I never knew so much frustration could fit into such little space as your two year old body. Oh the things you want to do, and always now, now, NOW. This month you have learned, because you demanded to, how to push the button on the dvd player so the dvd magically disappears into the machine. You demand to be lifted so you can put the dvd cover on top of the stack we keep at the tv. You are afraid of the dark, and you have an obsession with “cider” (which, as it turns out, means “spider”, because we happen to have quite a few of those.)

All of a sudden there are so many things happening to you, with you, about you. You’ve had the longest fuse ever and now you’ve finally run out, the result is nothing less than spectacular. As much as I loved you as a baby this explosion of your personality makes me fall in love with you all over again.

And you are stubborn. Oh so very stubborn. You don’t just want to play with a toy, you want to know how it works first. I can’t sit down and draw with you because you will attempt to take over, just like your mum. I doubt your teenage years will be easy on us, but I can also see how this stubbornness that I so lovingly passed on to you will keep us together, because there is no denying it, you are your parents’ daughter, and I can only describe our love for you as fierce.

Your dad turned to me today, all shocked, just to say just how big you’ve gotten, how there is no baby left in you. Something I say in a small, confused voice to him on a near daily basis, because dude, where did my baby go? But now your dad has finally caught on too and it really is true. You are growing up. So fast. We bought you your first pair of boots when you were still a chubby little thing, and you are just now growing out of them, a year and some months later. Much like Pinocchio you have turned into a real child.

I hope you will read these letters one day and look at all the pictures and know that not a single one of them has been able to capture the beauty I see when I look at you, or my writing able to do you justice, and yet I hope you will enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy the time I get to spend with you.

Entering “Phantom” territory

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I need some disgustingly cute filler for as long as it takes me to find out if I have a food poisoning or if I am having phantom morning sickness.

Is skeptical about Icelanders being terrorists

Happy Halloween and all that!

THAT or the OTHER

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

The other day I nearly started crying, that is how much I was laughing. The image inside my head that got me laughing was of me showing up to school and no one being there because everyone else was on the scheduled field trip that I knew about but plain forgot. How many times this happened during my childhood I’m not sure, but enough to imprint that feeling of walking into an empty school, knowing that something is really.. off. Like, where are all my classmates? kinda wrong.

At the time, of course, it was highly upsetting. I was THAT kid. The one who forgot to bring running shoes or indoor shoes to gym, their swimsuit or perhaps their towel on the one of two days a year we’d go swimming. I spent countless hours sitting outside our apartment because I forgot the key, tucking my jacket under my ass because the stone stairs were cold, pressing myself far into a corner so our neighbors wouldn’t see my shame.

I relayed this to Jelly Man the other day in between howls of laughter. Why I thought of it I don’t know, and why it struck me as funny is still a mystery, but it turns out he was THAT kid too. And if 15 years is not enough to put things in perspective then I don’t know what is, and still… I really hope that if Carlita ever has some weird revelation about her childhood once she is grown, it won’t be that life goes on even if you are THAT kid. Hopefully she’ll be that OTHER kid.