One month down, too many left

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Urgh! I've had a complete disaster of a month. Disaster, I tell you. Since I'm going to a BIG family birthday / reunion / meeting new people type thing this month I needed something to wear. J said it would be good for me, that shopping is recreational etc etc, and I was getting all excited while we walked from the parking lot, past the canal and towards the store. Jolly good, I thought, finally something that doesn't make me break out in cold sweat.

Hah.

First off, it's not recreational when you are fat. Or when you feel even fatter than you look (or the other way around, which is probably worse). And especially not when you finally find something worth wearing, IN YOUR SIZE, and then realize it's because you're in the maternity section. By that point J was getting whiny (so much for relaxation and recreation) and I was about to burst into tears (I'm getting fat again!).

BUT, I did walk away with 1 pair of pants, 4 tops and a handbag. I don't know why, but lately I've had a thing for handbags, and this one is cute, has many pockets (essential) and some leather and chains S/M looking thing strapped across it (gutsy). I hope I didn't over-do it.

It's times like this I'm so fucking grateful that I spent 300€ on myself last Christmas, without batting an eye. Ok, so I'm lying, I often feel guilty about spending on myself so shamelessly, but I didn't budge this time, mostly thanks to J who is such a giver. I think that man would give me the world if he could - but then I'd feel so guilty I'd ruin the romance.. Anyway, yes, my Creative Zen Touch will be much appreciated on my flights. Traveling makes me nervous, but everything is so much easier if you feel like you're in a music video.

There is so much more to tell, since I haven't had much time to sit here - connection, server and clients in dire need of help (my help! EEK!) don't leave much time over for anything else. It's hard on me being my "own boss" since all things that go wrong land on me without question, and I'm prone to be very hard on the one who screws up on my shift, ie. me.

Thank god August is over and won't be back for another year. Unless, of course, something unexpected happens. Like it usually does for me.

Yeah, I'm cranky.

Perkele

Monday, August 29, 2005

I’m just about ready to go curl up in a corner and whine while I slowly die away. Seriously. Sitting here tugging at my hair is NOT my idea of a good career, and lately that is all I have been able to do. I must have done someone really wrong and now I’m getting it all back tenfold because this is almost on the brink of “I want to quit”. Especially since OTHER people depend on me, and I depend on my connection and my connection, my chair, my table, well it’s all shit.

cPanel scare

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

I literally crashed into bed at around 5am. The server has been undergoing some upgrades to fix a bug, and like all true blog-aholics I sat here like a moron, pressing reload every 5 seconds thinking “THIS TIME IT WILL WORK!�”. The server did get back up, despite the very menacing “There is no website configured on this server” message that had me occupied for a good 15 minutes. Kudos to the support team who haven’t put me on ignore yet.

I’ve also noticed a bit of a difference with my back. It’s still achy, but J gave me a good massage the other day and I definitely felt something disk-like move around, which, come to think of it, was quite scary. Ever since that I haven’t been cringing or sweating just to get out of a chair, and that my peeps is improvement.

Oh, and before I forget to mention.. I’m being shipped off to Denmark sometime in late September. I will only be gone for 4 days. I’m meeting some extended family for a big birthday party - I was invited, but wasn’t sure if I could make it considering money and time etc. etc., so they decided to take matters into their own hands and ordered me a ticket. I’m touched, I’m honored and slightly nervous. I haven’t seen most of these people for at least 10 years!

And then of course mum is coming up to visit again later this fall.

Lots of plans!

Blurped

Sunday, August 21, 2005

I put one of those thin mattresses that aren’t really mattresses on top of the foamy thing we’ve got going, and wooo, my back is not that bad today! Or maybe it’s because I’ve had a cider and a half because Pooki left me to finish off the mountain of ciders that J bought (moderation moderation moderation). Either way I’m happy!